There are many people who at times walk through adulthood feeling strangely empty. Chronologically, we are adults, yet internally we don't always feel fully grown. Instead, we experience ourselves as spectators, bystanders, or passive participants in our own lives.
Why?
One possibility is that we have not yet discovered the loving authority within us—the presence of the neshama that can offer guidance, connection, compassion, and steady accompaniment to our inner world.
Without that loving presence, the nefesh—our lovable inner child—is left alone. And when the nefesh is alone, it becomes overwhelmed. We get stuck, paralyzed by fear or disappointment, watching life happen rather than actively living it.
The Torah offers an insight when Hashem says, "Na'aseh Adam"—"Let us make man."
To whom was Hashem speaking?
The Baal Shem Tov teaches that He was speaking to each one of us.
In other words, Hashem is saying: "Partner with Me. Together, let us make you into the person you were created to become."
But what does that partnership look like?
Each of us has been created with extraordinary potential. Potential, by definition, is unfinished.
We are intentionally created incomplete, with places of weakness, fear, and untapped possibility. That incompleteness is not a mistake—it is the worksite of our life and the very reason we are here.
Yet the journey only becomes overwhelming when the nefesh faces the incompleteness alone. By itself, it cannot face the inevitable disappointments, failures, and loneliness of being human while also reassuring itself that everything will be okay. It needs the loving presence of an inner adult—someone able to remain present and connected and not run from the pain.
Deep within every one of us is a question waiting to be answered:
Who will take responsibility for my life?
Who will answer the call to be the loving authority I need?
The work of yedidus — deep inner connection —begins by allowing ourselves to feel the pain of the nefesh: the ache of unmet potential, unresolved struggle, and facing life's challenges alone.
Yedidus means we stop hiding from that pain. We stop escaping it or blaming others for it. Instead, we stay connected long enough to hear what the nefesh has been trying to tell us all along:
"I long for more, but I don't know how. I hurt, and I need someone to be with me."
Then comes the turning point.
"I'm here. I'm ready. I'm willing to become that loving presence."
The heartfelt and vulnerable pain arouses our neshama to answer the call.
The neshama is not afraid of pain. It does not rush to fix or judge. It accompanies. It encourages. It offers wisdom, direction, compassion, and the willingness to seek whatever resources are needed to continue growing. As the connection deepens, it offers the nefesh the expectations and boundaries that come along with loving authority.
When we accept responsibility for this inner relationship, something remarkable begins to change. We stop waiting for life to happen to us. We stop feeling like bystanders in our own story.
Instead, we become active partners with Hashem in our own creation—living with greater freedom, deeper purpose, stronger will, and the quiet courage to become the people we were always meant to be.
If you'd like to watch this idea on youtube, click HERE.
Why?
One possibility is that we have not yet discovered the loving authority within us—the presence of the neshama that can offer guidance, connection, compassion, and steady accompaniment to our inner world.
Without that loving presence, the nefesh—our lovable inner child—is left alone. And when the nefesh is alone, it becomes overwhelmed. We get stuck, paralyzed by fear or disappointment, watching life happen rather than actively living it.
The Torah offers an insight when Hashem says, "Na'aseh Adam"—"Let us make man."
To whom was Hashem speaking?
The Baal Shem Tov teaches that He was speaking to each one of us.
In other words, Hashem is saying: "Partner with Me. Together, let us make you into the person you were created to become."
But what does that partnership look like?
Each of us has been created with extraordinary potential. Potential, by definition, is unfinished.
We are intentionally created incomplete, with places of weakness, fear, and untapped possibility. That incompleteness is not a mistake—it is the worksite of our life and the very reason we are here.
Yet the journey only becomes overwhelming when the nefesh faces the incompleteness alone. By itself, it cannot face the inevitable disappointments, failures, and loneliness of being human while also reassuring itself that everything will be okay. It needs the loving presence of an inner adult—someone able to remain present and connected and not run from the pain.
Deep within every one of us is a question waiting to be answered:
Who will take responsibility for my life?
Who will answer the call to be the loving authority I need?
The work of yedidus — deep inner connection —begins by allowing ourselves to feel the pain of the nefesh: the ache of unmet potential, unresolved struggle, and facing life's challenges alone.
Yedidus means we stop hiding from that pain. We stop escaping it or blaming others for it. Instead, we stay connected long enough to hear what the nefesh has been trying to tell us all along:
"I long for more, but I don't know how. I hurt, and I need someone to be with me."
Then comes the turning point.
"I'm here. I'm ready. I'm willing to become that loving presence."
The heartfelt and vulnerable pain arouses our neshama to answer the call.
The neshama is not afraid of pain. It does not rush to fix or judge. It accompanies. It encourages. It offers wisdom, direction, compassion, and the willingness to seek whatever resources are needed to continue growing. As the connection deepens, it offers the nefesh the expectations and boundaries that come along with loving authority.
When we accept responsibility for this inner relationship, something remarkable begins to change. We stop waiting for life to happen to us. We stop feeling like bystanders in our own story.
Instead, we become active partners with Hashem in our own creation—living with greater freedom, deeper purpose, stronger will, and the quiet courage to become the people we were always meant to be.
If you'd like to watch this idea on youtube, click HERE.
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