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Blog 4: Swim, Fish, Swim

7/15/2020

3 Comments

 
Picture
There’s a cartoon I like that depicts a greeting between two fish.

Fish 1: “How’s the water?”
Fish 2: “What water?”

I’m like Fish 2 regularly. I am living in a flow of Divine energy/thought without noticing it. 

Take parenting.  At times it feels like I’m living in the reality of my kids’ present behavior and future prospects.  It’s uplifting or frightening.  But I am beginning to watch myself with my kids.  I’m starting to see a disconnect between them and my moods.  In that disconnect lies some freedom.  Here’s a scenario.

I called to my seven and nine-year olds to change and brush for bedtime.  They happily continued their lego work.  I noticed a bubbling agitation within me.  I could start yelling right now, I thought, as I observed their unresponsiveness. But, could I ask again, without raising volume?  I tried it. 
 
“Guys?” I said, and then paused.

“Yeah?” my son answered.

“Can you please make your way upstairs now for brushing and changing?” The tone was remarkably similar to the first request.  

“Oh, yeah,” he said as if awoken from a dream.  And both ran off to brush.

Later, after bedtime was over, my son left his room and headed off to his sister’s.  This could spell disruption.  Again I watched an agitated feeling start to bubble.

“Where are you off to?” I asked.

“I’m putting these books away and then going to sleep.”

I followed him in to his sister’s room.  The books fell out of his hands.  He carefully and slowly began to pick them up one by one.  Agitation bubbled higher.  Bending over, he noticed his sister from behind the book shelf.

“Hi!” he said cheerfully.  My agitation rocketed.
​
“No,” I blared, “you are here to return the books and go back to your room, not hang out!”  I was no longer watching the agitation – what agitation? – I was simply swimming in it.

A few takeaways.

#1: I am fascinated by my capacity to be peaceful and responsive at times yet stressed and reactive at others – despite the circumstances being highly similar. 

#2:  I attribute this varying mood to a flow of Divine energy through my heart/mind.  Just as we possess a physical heart that pumps both oxygen/nutrients and CO2/toxins, we have a spiritual heart that flows with both trusting, expansive energy and its opposite.  

#3: Like a fish in water, we live in that flow.  And like the fish, we don’t always notice it.

#4: King Solomon said the beginning of all wisdom is to know what’s true.  The world, my kids, the future and all other circumstances out there are not directly shaping my moods.   There’s a quiet understanding that interposes.  In that understanding lies freedom. 

3 Comments
b
1/30/2022 10:11:20 am

So levels of consciousness are not in our control? Or do we control that by choosing to focus on happy thought?

Reply
Dvora
4/15/2022 07:25:43 am

Friend, Do not ignore your emotions, analyze them and ask for wisdom to understand why you feel the way you do and what can you do to treat it, our feelings are symptoms some need treatment some are normal. If you only focus on happy thoughts you miss the point of learning and being able to help others. We face difficulty to help each other follow the Truth. If you ignore yourself (even emotions) you are setting up yourself for health issues. Nobody likes to be ignored not even you. Search the scripture, analyze yourself before Hashem and be whole. Even wickedness we see its evil and we turn away from it.

Reply
Dvora
4/15/2022 07:18:46 am

In my life, I have felt this way that you said is "fascinating, no". What has helped me is judging myself to analyze why I am experiencing such emotions. It seems things effect us that we are blind to and they bare fruit, emotionally or even in dreams and thoughts. For instance I recall a time I was driving and I was so very happy and suddenly as if I was whipped I was upset, I questioned what just happened, and realized I felt bad for being happy. In time I understood I had been listening to a teacher who often focused on suffering as a good thing therefore when I was happy I suddenly felt concerned. Then I was able to overcome it with Truth and be more balanced in suffering and happiness.

"Facinating, no?"
Similarly when I was in your son's shoes, I realized habitually when I really wanted something I was denied it, therefore at that moment I was allowed to have it, I doubted it was what was supose to be happening.
Everything affects all of us, thus we need a filter of Truth to protect us.
My favorite thing you said so far was when you told him, he didn't have to decide, it was okay that he didn't know what to do, let someone else help him in his decision. As a parent myself it seems the authority of the Dad has been diluted to a boss instead of a priest. Literally in the eyes of Hashem you freed him from the burden - if only our children could grasp that side of parenting too. We not only raise them to be a blessing, we teach them HIS ways because we watch out for their souls.

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