I gained so much from the time I spent with you in Laconner. My husband asked me to summarize what I've seen because he's seen something in me. We wanted to pass it on to you as an expression of our gratitude. Here's a bit of a list.
1) Prior to the training one of the most challenging times in my day was when one of our daughters got triggered and started shrieking (like someone screaming in a microphone). I actually suffered a hearing loss. I was pretty convinced this was an objective source of suffering. What I saw at the training (in particular the back and forth I had with Linda in her grounding session) from the total certainty with which you each spoke that all feeling is the result of thought - I was willing to take a second look at this daily, very distressful experience. That's when I discovered that there were thoughts behind my experience, not just the shrieking that weren't visible to me before.
Here are some of the thoughts I saw I was having:
If the therapists are able to contain her screaming, I should be able also.
Another: If I'm not able, I'm a failure.
Another: Until I can get this chaos under control, I cannot pursue the things I most love to do.
I saw for myself that the pain and suffering that I was having was not from the actual shrieking.
Since I've been back a little over a week, this came to me:
"It doesn't have smooth to be good" - I'm now calmer at dinner and bedtime (what used to be the biggest pressure points of the day), and there's less screaming. I have more compassion for my kids and husband.
2) At one "counseling" demonstration, "Rachel" came to see how she was suffering more from the thought that G-d was punishing her by keeping her single than she was suffering from being single. As she was letting go, I saw that you could suffer just by feeling victimized by G-d even when it's completely not true.
3) All the demonstrations and people's sharing were extremely helpful to see over and over that people's experience is created by their thoughts. The abundance of sharing made such a difference because everyone says it a little differently.
4) The impact we can make on others is more from how real, heartfelt, and sincere an idea is for us than whatever words we say. Seeing it for yourself and sharing that - that's where impact comes from. At the closing session, when I saw how many people were so meaningfully touched, I realized that all George, Linda and Barb were doing was sharing from a heartfelt place what they had seen while trusting that G-d would guide them. It deepened my clarity that that's where I want to go deeper into.
Other insights I've had since I'm been back:
- "it's never bad even when it's difficult"
- "it's never final even where it feels like a dead end." There's no way out of this? No, that's not the last of it.
- Certain anxious thoughts were creeping in since I got back from the trip. I noticed that I was going into a familiar, anxious, dark place. Then I realized the following: "insights and the answers i most need don't come in the room of anxiety because there's no reception. Insights and answers come in the room of trust. And there are no circumstances that force me to be in the room of anxiety. I can go into the room of trust, knowing that the insights i most need will come because there's reception there!"
1) Prior to the training one of the most challenging times in my day was when one of our daughters got triggered and started shrieking (like someone screaming in a microphone). I actually suffered a hearing loss. I was pretty convinced this was an objective source of suffering. What I saw at the training (in particular the back and forth I had with Linda in her grounding session) from the total certainty with which you each spoke that all feeling is the result of thought - I was willing to take a second look at this daily, very distressful experience. That's when I discovered that there were thoughts behind my experience, not just the shrieking that weren't visible to me before.
Here are some of the thoughts I saw I was having:
If the therapists are able to contain her screaming, I should be able also.
Another: If I'm not able, I'm a failure.
Another: Until I can get this chaos under control, I cannot pursue the things I most love to do.
I saw for myself that the pain and suffering that I was having was not from the actual shrieking.
Since I've been back a little over a week, this came to me:
"It doesn't have smooth to be good" - I'm now calmer at dinner and bedtime (what used to be the biggest pressure points of the day), and there's less screaming. I have more compassion for my kids and husband.
2) At one "counseling" demonstration, "Rachel" came to see how she was suffering more from the thought that G-d was punishing her by keeping her single than she was suffering from being single. As she was letting go, I saw that you could suffer just by feeling victimized by G-d even when it's completely not true.
3) All the demonstrations and people's sharing were extremely helpful to see over and over that people's experience is created by their thoughts. The abundance of sharing made such a difference because everyone says it a little differently.
4) The impact we can make on others is more from how real, heartfelt, and sincere an idea is for us than whatever words we say. Seeing it for yourself and sharing that - that's where impact comes from. At the closing session, when I saw how many people were so meaningfully touched, I realized that all George, Linda and Barb were doing was sharing from a heartfelt place what they had seen while trusting that G-d would guide them. It deepened my clarity that that's where I want to go deeper into.
Other insights I've had since I'm been back:
- "it's never bad even when it's difficult"
- "it's never final even where it feels like a dead end." There's no way out of this? No, that's not the last of it.
- Certain anxious thoughts were creeping in since I got back from the trip. I noticed that I was going into a familiar, anxious, dark place. Then I realized the following: "insights and the answers i most need don't come in the room of anxiety because there's no reception. Insights and answers come in the room of trust. And there are no circumstances that force me to be in the room of anxiety. I can go into the room of trust, knowing that the insights i most need will come because there's reception there!"
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