Jewish Center for Wellbeing
Successful Living Through a Discovery
​ of ​One's Own Wisdom & Wellbeing
​
  • Home
    • About >
      • Testimonials about Innate Health
  • Offerings
    • The Heart of Parenting >
      • Parenting Blog
    • Podcast: Partners In Creation
    • Podcast: Spiritual Foundations of Mental Health
    • Speaking & Counseling
  • Videos/Testimonials
    • Prior IH Conferences
    • Spark
  • Donate
  • Blog
  • Kinyan Mesechta/Archive
    • Chagiga Ch. 1
    • Chagiga Ch. 2
    • Chagiga Ch. 3

When Kids Argue

4/25/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
Two of my kids are prone to particular conflict.  They can team up wonderfully in many ways.  But sometimes, like recently when the long unstructured Passover break was upon us, they rub each other.  This one claims the other is insensitive; that one claims this one is too sensitive.

The Torah teaches in this week’s portion that we “judge others with righteousness.”  One understanding is that we simply make the effort to be careful and thorough in our courts.  Another is that we judge favorably:  we assume the reasonableness of another’s position, even if it eludes us now.

As the sensitive one refused to leave the playground until the other learned to change, I wasn’t sure what to do.  Intervene or leave things be?  Confront or just empathize?  I felt a small wave of disapproval within: he’s being unreasonable; he has to get over this.  He can’t just disrupt the family because he’s upset.  What’s going to be when he gets older?

Give him some space, I thought.  He’s heated right now.

When I came home from the playground I found I was ready to listen without judgment.  I sought out the other party.

“Can I hear your version of what happened?” I asked.

“He’s just too sensitive.  What can I do?  It’s impossible.”

I blanched momentarily in hearing the words I often think come out of my son’s mouth.  I am often convinced of the unreasonableness of another’s outlook, the impossibility of a path forward.  I could see:  he was unconsciously holding the door shut to a world beyond. 

“There is a way to approach this but you need blessing to see it,” I thought to myself.  “First you have to acknowledge that you’re responsible, that it’s possible.”

Thank G-d, I felt compassion more than judgment.   I let him be. 

As in the past, they made up.  As in the past, I assume there will be future friction.  Finding the favorable judge in us can go a long way.

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris


0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    September 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    August 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    March 2016
    October 2015
    August 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Copyright 2022, Jewish Center for Wellbeing.  All rights reserved.
Mailing Address: 136 Kingsland Road, #1044, Clifton, NJ 07014
About
Blog
Contact
Phone: 
(845) 393-1529